A Kind Wife


About a year ago I sent my husband a list of things that I thought that he might like to see me do around the house. I asked him to put the list according to priority, from greatest to least.Here is the exact list that I sent to him:

  • clean, ironed laundry
  • yummy meals including lunches
  • fresh, homemade bread for your sandwiches
  • keeping up with emails
  • thank you notes
  • outreach in the community
  • hospitality/ having people over
  • making sure there are cookies or something yummy for you when you get home (including tea)
  • a clean, picked up house
And this was his exact response….
Come visit me at Time-Warp Wife today to read the rest! I hope you will learn from my struggles!!

Photo credit Tripp Flythe

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  • Thehomespunheart

    Oh, how I needed this today! Thank you, Joy!

  • Anonymous

    I once ask my husband how I could show him that I loved him (well beside the obvious thing that goes behind close door wink wink) His respond was “clean sock and coffee ready before I wake up” So when my days gets busy, when there is too much to do and so very little time, when I can figure out what I should be doing…. I remember what is important to him. I make sure that what he wants me to do is done, making sure that I serve him first….

    then get on with what else is on my to-do-list…. as long as I know that I have accomplish serving his needs I know that I have accomplish something… Even if all the clean clothes are still in the basket and ready to be put away, or dishes are waiting to be cleaned and other million (maybe a slight exaggeration here lol)things waiting for me to tackles!

    Easy to remember: ” sock and coffee, makes my man happy!!!!”

  • http://awomanforhim.wordpress.com/ Brooke Parks

    I love this post! So often we put all this other “stuff” above our original call to love our husbands. Thanks for the reminder!

  • http://twitter.com/apriljharris April Harris

    I, too, needed to hear this today! Thank you so much for this lovely, meaningful post!

  • http://www.apurposefullife.blogspot.com Mama26inwi

    An amazing response from your husband! I love it! “I want my best friend that I am in love with, not a maid.” When trying to be a good wife, it easy to fall into the trap of focusing on what we can do rather than who we can be. Great post, thanks!

  • http://www.ordinaryinspirations.blogspot.com Traci

    Loved this! You are a blessing. Keep serving our wonderful Savior… and your blessed family with Joy. Love, Traci @ Ordinary Inspirations http://www.ordinaryinspirations.blogspot.com

  • http://www.thethingswedoblog.com Jen (thethingswedoblog.com)

    what a beautiful post, Joy. A great reminder for me when I start measuring my success as a wife and mom by my own false expectations of what a perfect wife and mother looks like.

  • http://www.afullday.com/need-100-for-something/ Joii

    Hello Joy! I wanted to say hello because you wrote an awesome post and also because we share a name, just different spelling. I’m Joii. :-) The post was awesome and something to remain conscious of. I am one to run several lists in my head about what needs to be done and when. However, what my husband would rather is me sitting down with him even if there’s dirty dishes in the sink :-) Help me Lord!

  • http://newtothisfarmstuff.blogspot.com Lee

    I will be asking my husband this same question. I’m pretty sure his answer would be quite similar to Dave’s. A wonderful, wonderful post. Thank you.

  • http://www.callherblessed-angela.blogspot.com Angie

    O my goodness gracious. This totally hit me right between the eyes … in a good way. It brought me to tears as I read this blog, wondering how in the world you got right in to my head! Thank you, a million times over, for sharing this today. This is the 2nd time since this morning that I completely know God is speaking to me about a few things I’ve been earnestly in prayer about. What a blessing this has been today … & will be for a long time to come. Blessings & prayers coming your way.

  • Danielle

    I have a feeling my husband would answer in much the same way… I am certain that is not what I am giving him. Thank you for your challenge

  • Anonymous

    My husband tells me this often! Thank you for the reminder!! I am a new reader and I look forward to following along.

  • petejessnewland

    I’m afraid you must have been peeking in on our home lately…. you described me to at T! I’ve been so stressed trying to keep everything perfect, even on the weekends, that yesterday afternoon I got so snappy with my hubby. I don’t want to be that way! Thank you for the reminder that I much needed today amidst the laundry, poopy diapers, dinner prep, etc.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_B46L3GVRBLSYUXZSBTHDTGZXN4 Jenny

    Very nice post and I need to remember the same thing. Fascinating Womanhood says….let him make the living, while you make life Worth living. This book is an amazing guide to not only be a domestic goddess, but LOVE your husband at face value. Once I started to do this, our entire marriage changed. Thanks so much for this post. You address a very good problem with marriages today.


  • Ann Franklin

    When I first read that you had given Dave a list I thought oh no ‘Joy is giving her husband one of those ‘honey do’ lists! I’ve always thought them a visual form of nagging. Then I read on – phew! Yes my husband would say ‘Give of yourself to me and this family first before you take on any other outside commitments.’ His love language is acts of service though and I know that he appreciates ironed shirts and the wholewheat bread I make. I admit to buying bread at the store sometimes and honestly I know that this disappoints him because he tells me that I make the best bread. We went to a fancy restaurant recently and had bread as a starter – he whispered in my ear, it’s not a patch on your bread! I couldn’t cook or bake anything except for lasagnas (and the sauce came out of a bottle!) when I married him so I know he never married me for my culinary skills! I loved that quote that Jenny shared from Fascinating Womanhood. Making life worth living for my husband means I do commit to making bread for him because it makes him happy. I don’t strive to achieve perfection. I know I cannot be all things to all people but I’m cued in to what I know my husband appreciates (it’s not love notes in his lunchbox that’s for sure!) and do my very best to be the wife that he deserves.

  • Btkeels

    Oh Joy this post really touched me today. Thank you for making it so clear. I know my husband wants to have lots of time to hang out with me too. I often get so caught up running around making everything perfect at the expense of tramping on my sweet little family. Ouch that makes my heart hurt. xoxoxo, Tera

    • Btkeels

      Trampling, opps on my spelling;)

  • Robert&Gretchen Clarke

    What a needed reminder today! Thank you!

  • Lovee

    Thank you for this reminder Joy. It’s such a blessing to read your blog!