Anger and Patience- Cultivating a Heart for Motherhood

February 21, 2012 By

When we began this series, so many of you said that the biggest struggle you face in mothering is not getting angry and along with that learning to be patient.

I am certainly no expert, and I only hope and pray that the resources that I give you are an encouragement. First off, as you begin to see the significance of mothering and embrace that, and then work at overcoming the 3 obstacles we have talked about, these things should significantly cut down on the struggle.

But, what about when you’ve done all of those things and you still feel like exploding? My best advice is to be constantly in prayer.  My prayer life has grown significantly since becoming a mama! I realize now that I have no strength of my own and everything I need in the moment comes from him.

So what do you do in the moment, when you are angry and want to take it out on your child? Give grace in the moment. I wrote this post for The Better Mom a few months ago and using this as a guideline in the moment of my frustration has greatly helped me!

So, I decided to make it into a printable and the amazing Beth from Beth Stone Studio created this printable complete with some of her original artwork! I hope you love it as much as I do!

 Click here to download the printable

And the best series I have ever seen on the topic of anger is from my friend, Christy at One Fun Mom.  She has lots of posts, practical advice, and Biblical help for those of us who struggle with anger.  Go read her series, Anger and Children!

Next week, we are going to tackle the 3 C’s of Mothering! There will be lots of practical help and I hope you will join me!

I invite you to subscribe or join the conversation on the Grace Full Mama Facebook page.

Here is a list of the posts so far in the Cultivating a Heart for Motherhood series:

1. The Beginning
2. The Significance- Part1
3. The Significance- Part2
4. The Obstacles- Part1 
5. The Obstacles- Part2
6. The Obstacles- Part3

And here are the printables:

1. Week 1
2. Week 2 
3. Week 3 
 
Linking up here:

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Filed Under: Cultivating a Heart for Motherhood Series, mothering

25 Comments

  • http://godcenteredmom.com/ Heather (@hmacmomma)

    So great Joy! Thank you for a helpful AND beautiful way to keep grace at the front of our minds when parenting. It’s not enough to say “I’m just not going to be angry”. We have to replace on emotion/action with another emotion/action…thank you for the tools to do that! God Bless you today (or tonight in your case ;) ).

    • Joy

      Thank you Heather! Yes, I am one that forgets quickly, so I need to have something right in front of me to help me focus!! :) Hope you had fun at the conference this past weekend!

  • Amy

    Joy, I just found your blog last week, and have been catching up on this series. And I have loved it! I’ve worked on each printable & each day I read another article, and today I have finally caught up. This series has been a huge help to me as I am struggling right now with several facets of my life. More of the “they hurt my feelings, why do you talk that way” struggle — but it’s still hard. Your series is helping me get a grip on myself, see the bigger picture, and also see who I should be focusing on (God, not myself). Thank you & God bless you and your family.

    • Joy

      Thank you Amy. I am so humbled that what I have shared has helped you. I just prayed over you and your struggles. Thanks for being honest….we all struggle!!

  • http://twitter.com/stacey29lincoln Stacey29lincoln

    Love this Joy! Love to share this link on the “Hope for the Weary Mom” Spreecast tonight (9:00PM EST). This question of anger and tone has come up in response to weary moms!

    • Joy

      Thank you sweet Stacey!

  • http://twitter.com/moretobe Lisa

    It is really great that you are tackling this issue of mother anger. I’ve struggled with it, too, but for me, it was an issue of deep wounds and a guilty hardened heart. It took two seasons of Christian counseling for me to unpack the rocks laid in my heart, causing all the bitterness and anger. In the process, I learned how to seek the Lord and receive His forgiveness for my hidden sin and pain. I also extended forgiveness to those who had hurt me (which was a process between me and the Lord). A weight was lifted!

    In time and only by God’s grace, I was able to replace the lies sown in the pain with Biblical truth about my identity, God, and life in general. The end result was the source of my anger was seriously undone. The explosions stopped. The intensity of my frustration has been minimized. Yes, I have to pray and focus on habit change still, but it is so much easier now than it was before counseling. I’m no longer walking around with a hardened heart and my family feels the difference. It is a miracle, which I share about in my Experiencing Life Transformed eBook and a little bit in Story Hearts (http://www.moretobe.com/ebooks/).

    So I would highly recommend to any mother struggling with uncontrollable anger to look into Christian counseling to at least rule out the possibility that it might be fueled by the past. I’m also happy to give my Experiencing Life Transformed eBook free to anyone whose participating in your series and needs to be encouraged that God can change their life and their mothering, too. They can contact me through my website and tell me they followed the link from here and I’ll send it to them for free. Anything to help a sister in Christ struggling with anger. It can be a lonely and discouraging journey.

    Blessings,
    Lisa

    • Joy

      Lisa, Thank you so much for sharing your story and for being so honest. Yes, I am sure that there are so many that would be helped by your ebook and your story and by counseling as well. Thank you for your gracious offer!!

  • Anonymous

    It is so convicting to see my children use the same angry tone or words that I’ve chosen at times. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1) Prayer continually is the key, friend…as there is no fruit of the Spirit apart from abiding with Christ! Thank you for sharing your heart, Joy!

    • Joy

      Amen and amen. Prayer IS the key, and I am SO glad that He is always there!

  • http://www.ps67.blogspot.com/ Sarah

    Thank you for this, Joy! I definitely say a lot of short “O God, help me!!” prayers throughout each day as I care for and train our little ones. It has taught me so much about my complete dependence on Jesus… how anything good I do or say is from Him because without Him, I’m not a very nice person a lot of the time! When trying to show grace to my kids, it helps me to remind myself of the grace I have been shown through Jesus. I try to use the short phrase from Hebrews 12, “Consider Him”. That is what I say to myself in times of growing anger or frustration. We have been shown such grace, been forgiven so much… we must “consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that [we] will not grow weary and lose heart.” I want to show this grace to my kids, while still training them, so that they will be also someday be overwhelmed by the grace of our Savior. So, yes, there is a lot of “God, help me!” being prayed here… and a lot of “calm down and consider Him” being said to myself! Thanks for sharing with us, Joy.

    • Joy

      Nodding in agreement with everything you say Sarah. Without Christ I am not a very nice person either!! :) Thanks for sharing!

    • Tandis

      I very much enjoyed this blog and also Sarah’s comment here. Amen & you are not alone! I did like your two easy words that are so powerful… “Consider Him”. I need to remember to that in times of frustration… and in good moments too, to praise and thank Him for the moment.

  • http://www.gracetags.com/ Janelle@GraceTags

    I find that because I have Lyme disease it seems to add to my impatience because I feel so terrible. Having said that, it really is a choice to choose patience and joy. It’s not always easy but it is doable. I choose patience and joy today… thank you for the reminder.

    Janelle

    • Joy

      Janelle, I hear you. Living with Lupus AND in the heat and humidity of the tropics saps my energy and leaves me on that hairy edge of exhaustion many days. I know *Exactly* what you mean when you say it is a choice. For me, it is a moment by moment choice and I agree, it is NOT easy. But it is worth it, isn’t it?! Thanks for sharing sweet lady!

  • http://www.onefunmom.com Christy

    Joy, I love the printable (printing it up now!) and thank you for linking to me! I love this series!

    • Joy

      Thanks Christy! I am so glad to be able to send people your way!

  • Christina@toshowthemjesus.com

    Patience is not my strength. I try to remember how patient God is with me and that he’s forgiven me for so much more. The gospel becomes my place to run to when the emotions rise. Great post! Visiting from WLW.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1361812696 Janine Sternberg Rosche

    The part that is most difficult for me is that when I do lose my temper, I can’t immediately forgive someone (even my kids) and put a smile back on my face. When I’m upset, it normally takes an hour or so to “break” my mood, in spite of anything I try. I hate sitting in a grudge against them especially, and I know I’m just passing on what I learned from my parents. I know that if I could keep a level head and a straight face during discipline I would have an easier time getting myself back to a place of peace with them. I’m going to hang this print out above our time out spot and try to pause my reaction/response until after I’ve read through this! Thanks!

  • Kristen

    So beautifully said, Joy. Thank you.

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  • Evelyn

    Love this, thanks! I definitely struggle with controlling my anger/frustration in the moment. What a sweet invitation to be in constant communion with the One who can guide our hearts back to peace and a positive attitude! Now where to put the printable… http://www.smallishblog.com