Cultivating a Heart for Motherhood Series- The Beginning

January 30, 2012 By
Welcome! I am SO excited that you are here on this journey with me!
Let me share some of my story as we begin:

March 2004-Boy, I look tired!

I had been on bedrest for 6 weeks, gained an obscene amount of weight, then was rushed to the hospital to have an emergency C-section to deliver premature twins.  That first week in the hospital was a complete blur, between the NICU and figuring out breastfeeding preemies all while trying to care for 3 other children and get some sleep in there somewhere.

 When we finally did make it home, I was spending 1 ½ hours out of every 3 nursing, pumping, bottle feeding, and then trying to catch a little sleep before it all started again.

It was one night somewhere near 2 am as I was feeding a little one, struggling to keep my eyes open.  I was trying to remember which twin I was feeding.  With the blur of an info-mercial for Yoga Booty Ballet, looking down at my still distended belly squeezed into the only sweats that I could pull on (which had spit up on them), I sat wondering to myself,

What in the world am I doing?  This is SO not what I signed up for!  

 It is in those moments as a mother that it is the most challenging, and we find ourselves asking the questions:

Why am I here?
Why am I doing this?
 Does any of this matter?
 Does my life count for anything at all?

 I am here to tell you that it does.  Your life and your job as a mother do matter. I want to take you on a journey to cultivate a heart for mothering.  I want to share with you the BIG VISION first, so you can get a glimpse of what mothering can mean both now and for the future.  Then, once you are inspired, I want to give you lots of practical tips for how to carry it out in your daily life.  Don’t get overwhelmed by the enormity of the task.  Just take it all in.

 I will be posting this series every Monday and here is what we will cover:
1. A Big Vision for Motherhood
2. The 3 Main Obstacles We Face
3. Anger and Patience {because pretty much everyone said this is a struggle}
4. The 3 C’s for Mothering- practical help and ideas
5. Conclusion- Encouragement for the road ahead

There will be challenges, printables, and lots of encouragement along the way! 

As we begin, I want to let you know right from the beginning our purpose for learning how to cultivate a heart for motherhood.  It isn’t so that we can be a great mom, it isn’t so that we can raise great kids, it isn’t even so that we can have strong, happy families.  These things are all good, but the real reason we learn and study and grow in these areas is so that we can know Christ and display His Gospel in our lives for HIS glory.

“…so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior.” Titus 2:10
”
Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.” Philippians 3:8
And what Paul says to the Colossians is true for us as well, “To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” Colossians 1:27

And, listen, I read all the comments on this post.  And I am right there with you.  We are all weary.  We have all messed up.  We will all mess up again. But, hear this: There is grace for us.

 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
We can boast in our weakness and press on in HIS power to begin again. So as we start this journey, I can’t think of a better way to begin than by pouring out our mama hearts to Him.

Here is your assignment for today:

Print off this document, “Pouring out my heart to Jesus”. Go here to download it.

Grab yourself a hot cup of tea or coffee, light a candle,  and turn on some quiet, soothing music.  Look over the verses mentioned today and then write out your thoughts on your job as mom to Jesus.  Write out your struggles, your failures, your pain, your joy, your dreams, whatever is on your heart.  Just take some time to sit quietly in His presence and pour out your heart to Him.  He is waiting to hear from you!

What are your thoughts as we start? If you haven’t already, I invite you to subscribe so that you don’t miss a post!

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Filed Under: Cultivating a Heart for Motherhood Series, God's word, mothering

73 Comments

  • http://www.encouragingheartsathome.com Misty Krasawski

    Yippee! Good for you, dear Joy! My thoughts … having a heart for motherhood is extremely countercultural. Which means … since culture is obviously such a mess, we’re on the right track! I think mothering with intention and purpose takes the same kind of support as many other things we might try to do–natural childbirth, or nursing, or homeschooling, or whatever else God whispers in our ears. Without friends to encourage and cheer us on, most of us will give up our ideals as the reality and difficulties set in. So I think this series is great! Bless you! Sharing on my blog. ;-)

    • Joy

      Great thoughts Misty. I love your heart and your encouragement! You are right, we need good friends around us to fortify us and cheer us on! That is why I am so grateful for you!!

  • Thehomespunheart

    Looking forward to my cup of tea and pouring out my heart tomorrow – blessings and thanks for sharing, sweet Joy!

    • Joy

      Thanks friend. :) You are such an encouragement to me!

  • Anonymous

    Yay im so excited for this!

    • Joy

      Me too! :)

  • Susan Schmitt

    This is SO what SO MANY of us mamas need! I’m sure it is coming as JUST the right time for so many of us! Thank you, and bless you!!! :)

    • Joy

      Yay! I am so glad you are joining in! Thanks for the encouragement!

  • http://twitter.com/EverydayEO Janene Frank

    I just know I will be blessed by this series–as will my family–thank you!!

    • Joy

      You are so welcome! It has been a joy to put this together!

  • Renia Snyder

    Looking forward. I went thru the same thing only I had 1 child 3 months premature. 2 months in the NICU. It has been quite a journey to say the least.

    • Joy

      Wow, 2 months! That had to be intense for sure. How long ago was that?

  • sarah

    ‘As we begin, I want to let you know right from the beginning our purpose for learning how to cultivate a heart for motherhood. It isn’t so that we can be a great mom, it isn’t so that we can raise great kids, it isn’t even so that we can have strong, happy families. These things are all good, but the real reason we learn and study and grow in these areas is so that we can know Christ and display His Gospel in our lives for HIS glory. ‘

    This is the cry of my heart, thankyou for pointing us to Jesus. This is so rare and refreshing these days.

    • Joy

      I am so glad that we are in this together seeking to point each other to Him!

  • Michelle Spahr

    I want to “like” every comment on here. It is so refreshing and encouraging to be surrounded by other moms who are crying out as well, and moms I don’t even know! My heart cries out to know my Jesus so deeply that all I do radiates His love and grace. That is what I want my kids to see, the love and grace of Jesus. This is my heart’s deepest desire. It is in my weakness that I wonder how in the world they will ever see that through me, but 2 Corinthians 12:9 says it all for me today. Thank you for that reminder. Blessed to be on this journey, with all of you!

    • Joy

      It is Michelle, so refreshing to be on this journey with each other. How can we make it feel even more like a community? Any ideas? I would love to connect mamas with each other. You and I share the same heart cry, by the way. :) Thanks for commenting!!

  • http://www.sattvicfamily.net/ Elizabeth

    LOVE your blog!! My family and I live in Phuket, so we aren’t too far from you! Can’t wait to embark upon this challenge, as I have really had my ups and downs as a mom, but it has all been worth it.

    • Joy

      Thanks you for saying hi Elizabeth! Waving at you from the same side of the world! :)

  • http://www.themodestmomblog.com/ Caroline @ The Modest Mom

    I just had our fifth baby a month ago, and it is hard being up at night nursing a lot when I want some sleep. But the Lord is so good to provide strength when I’m exhausted! I can’t imagine what you went through with twins. Thank you so much for sharing and for doing this series. It has already encouraged me!

    • Joy

      Oh Caroline! How I do remember those late nights/early mornings! Now that my twins are 4 I am just now starting to recover from sleep deprivation! :) Hang in there sister!!

  • Jackie

    Great series :-) I did chuckle though when you said find a quiet place, turn on some soft muisc . . in a house with kids? There are no quiet places in this house ;-) LOL I like my kids to see me doing Bible Study though – it allows them to ask questions and see their mom living what she teaches

    • Ladyruhon

      I’ve started getting up between 4:30 and 5:30 to have my devo /prayer time before my kiddos wake up at 6:30. Best decision He ever lead me to.

      • Joy

        Great suggestion. It is a sacrifice, but that’s what I do as well. I’m exhausted by 9pm but it is wonderful to have some space in the early morning. :) Thanks for chiming in!

    • Joy

      I was thinking maybe nap time? early morning? after they go to bed? I know that it is difficult to find a quiet moment, believe me!! :) But, I think that it is good to seek a quiet space for our minds to think. Thanks for sharing! :)

  • http://twitter.com/AdrienneSFTS Adrienne

    This looks great! I’m new to your blog and looking forward to seeing what’s ahead. :) Your family is beautiful!!

    • Joy

      Thanks for saying hello Adrienne, glad to have you here! Blessings to you today!

  • http://joyfulmothering.net Christin

    I love and totally agree with the reasons why we should strive to be better mamas – to show God’s glory. And doesn’t that make the “work” more honorable and give it fresh light to keep pressing on?
    This is a chance for God to use us to show our children His glory. Love it!

    • Joy

      Thanks for the encouragement sister! I love hearing from you. Glad to know that we think alike! :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=726665646 Stacey Friesen

    You had me when you said that the purpose it to bring glory to God. I’m in!!

    • Joy

      Awesome! So glad you are joining us!

  • http://kimita.wordpress.com/ Kim

    Thanks for your encouragement! I had a why-in-the-world-am-I-doing-all-this moment this past weekend and felt like a meltdown was coming on! My sweet husband stayed home with the kids Saturday morning so I could just get out. I didn’t really have anywhere to go but just sat in the car, pouring out my heart to God, listening to my favorite hymn, “I need thee every hour.” One message that God comforted me with as a mom is this verse from 2 Corinthians 3:5 –> “Not that we are sufficient/adequate in ourselves to consider anything coming from ourselves but our adequacy/sufficiency is from God.” My adequacy and sufficiency as a mom and wife comes from God!! I don’t need to muster up enough strength and determination but instead spend each hour submitting to His perfect will and He will supply the rest! It was so comforting and reassuring to know that God will give me all that I need to do His work even on days when I think it’s impossible! :) That Saturday, I reminded myself that I, an imperfect person, returned to an imperfect house with an imperfect husband and imperfect children but we all are strengthened and given grace by our Perfect Savior!

    • Joy

      Wow! Great story and great thoughts! Yes, yes, yes!!

  • Guest

    I hate when super skinny people think they are fat, sheesh it’s an insult really

    • Joy

      Hi! If you are referring to me, I certainly don’t or didn’t think I was fat. I was just describing that in-between time that most mamas experience between when you have the baby and when your pregnant stomach recedes (at least somewhat). Have a great day!

      • J Wagner

        Joy, You are so sweet. What a gracious response. Looking forward to this series.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jamie-Williams/1260722211 Jamie Williams

    Im am going to be the Mom in the background, trying to soak everything in and pray for the grace of God to lead me today and everyday. Thank you Grace Full Mama. I am trying.

    • Joy

      Hang in there Jamie. We are all on this journey together, none of us have it all together, I promise I don’t!! :) So glad to have you join us!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/darlene.webb1 Darlene Webb

    thank you for the reminder that His grace is sufficient. I am not perfect, and I fall way short, but praise God that He is and through my weaknesses His power is made perfect. I needed that reminder this morning.

    • Joy

      You are welcome. I need that reminder every day!! :) Thanks for saying hello!!

  • Becky Daye

    Thanks for all of the work that you have already put into this, Joy!!! Praying that God will encourage your heart through all of this as well. I am so thankful that God has lead you to minister to moms and point them to Jesus. I’m excited to be learning and growing with you.

    • Joy

      Thank you sweet Becky. You are such a treasure and encouragement and I appreciate you so very much!

  • http://abidingbythecross.blogspot.com/ Laura

    thank you for this fresh encouragment!!! you are a joy (no pun intended)!!!

    • Joy

      Heehee! Love the pun! :) Thank you!!

  • http://www.womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com womenlivingwell

    I love that photo!!! I can’t imagine managing 5 when two are twin babies – amazing! I am all ears girl – teach me – I look up to you!!!
    Courtney

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/EXH3IPRBKDYH4WL43OXTL5O4NA Impressed Chick

    thank you. very much needed.

  • Jenni

    I’ve been looking forward to this series all week! Thanks for sharing your heart with all of us!

  • Amanda Cross

    These are the questions that I’ve been asking myself for awhile now. I am a stay at home mom and my little boy (Noah) is almost 2. I am so thankful to come across this series via Women Living Well.

  • Sara J

    Thank you for doing this : ) My family and I were blessed by The Gentleness Challenge and am looking forward to how God will help me grow during this series.

  • http://www.gracetoabide.com/ Catherine

    Hi Joy! I’m really looking forward to this series. I was just having a ‘what am I doing’ moment the other day when visiting a sick neighbour here in Russia. ‘Why haven’t I spent more time with the neighbours? What am I doing here? What was all the cross-cultural training for? All I do is stay at home all day with my kids, what impact am I having on the local community?’ I appreciated your encouragement that by embracing the task of motherhood that God has given me I will be adorning the gospel. Also, sometimes we have to consider our past training and experiences and plans as a ‘loss’ for His sake. I’m posting your button on my blog. Looking forward to your next post!

  • sara stafford

    I’m so excited for this series. I just finished the Gentleness challenge with Women Living Well and this is a great follow up! I only have two little ones (4 and 1) but have found myself recently not really wondering “what am I doing” but more “how do I do this and point them to Jesus”. It’s so hard. I’ve been trying to read and get as much as I can on the topic and this will be a great series for me. So blessed by you and this blog!

  • Jody

    Hello Joy. I want to encourage you in your blessed endeavor God has given you. I was in almost the exact predicament with my twins, only I had ONE other at home instead of three. My children are now 19, 18, 18, and 16 with the 16 year old the only boy, and the only one we are homeschooling now. The girls have graduated! You can survive and KNOW you are sooooo very blessed!!! Continue on! If you want to see how my girls and son are doing, check out the girls blog at threemaidens.blogspot.com or mine at farmfaithfamily.blogspot.com. It’s great to see your wonderful family!
    Always Experiencing Him,
    Jody

  • http://twitter.com/LittleWriterMom Lisa Littlewood

    Looking forward to this…reposting on FB…and printing freewrite page now! (While the house IS quiet!)…

  • http://kregerhouse.blogspot.com Rikki

    Glad I stumbled upon your blog! My thoughts…it’s balm for my wounded soul regarding motherhood. I desperately want to receive what God has for me instead of feeling “less than” in this area.

  • Nicole Auld

    Joy–this is so amazing because today has been one of those days no one has listened. I have yelled and lost it. I have printed out my sheet, and sat at His feet with my struggles, joys, failures, and dreams. I am excited about this series. Keep shining for Him! Great photo of you and your family!

  • Elizabethlehman

    My twins weren’t premies, so you have another set of worries, but your photo reminds me of those hazy days. I was never sure who I had fed during the night and what had happened afterwards. I fed whoever was there!! Praying for you in this journey – your series sounds great!

  • http://thequeenmommy.com/ Debbie

    Joy, this is just amazing! I appreciate you tackling these things – I’m not a young mom, but I have young children and feel the pressure and ask myself the questions and really value this ministry to mothers! Thank you

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  • Tricia

    Hi Joy, I am looking forward to reading your thoughts and encouragement on Mondays. I have been going through a journey with Christ this past month. The world will tell us that we “need” to do so many things but rarley does the world tell us how important being a mom is. We need to look to God’s word to find our security. We need to seek those who will build us up in truth. We need to seek the gospel for our own lives and share it with our families. The only thing we “need” is JESUS! I struggle with what the world tells me, I want to do it all. It doesn’t work, then I fail terribly and then I fall into a pit of feeling like a failure. That’s what the enemy wants. I have found that I have to ask myself and Jesus very specific questions for ME. I have to seek his word and direction. No two of us are the same in what our lives look like so we need to be cautious on compairing and giving advice. The thing I have realized is to keep my eyes on my own paper. God has a plan for ME and it’s my plan. It’s tough because we see others doing other things and it’s enticing. Focus…there is a mission infront of us. We need to do the mission God has placed before us! We will be blessed.

    Tricia

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  • Dayna

    I’m just so grateful that I found your site. I have been reading your posts for a couple months and they always touch my heart. But this one brought tears to my eyes. As a mother, I know I’m not going to be perfect but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel guilty when I’m not perfect for my children. It is so easy to grow weary and last night I was praying for more patience with my children so that I can show them Christ threw me. This series is just God’s timing, and I can’t wait to read all your posts. Thank you!!!

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  • Fiona Harjono

    Thanks sister Joy for sharing your life. I’m a young mother, struggling for being a better mom everyday, but thanks God I’ve found your blog, all of your posts bless me so much :) by the way, I am Indonesian, stay in Jakarta :) warm regards, Fiona

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  • http://lifewiththefamilyo.com/ Mrs. O

    Wow, I am so glad to have found this! I needed this, I am crying, just poured my heart out. Thank you for the inspiration. I just can’t express what this had done for me today, this morning. I just really needed this. Thanking God for sending me your way. Excited to start this journey.

  • Bev Warning

    I am beginning this journey and following your posts. My children are 11, 9 and 7 and I have struggled over the years with patience, frustration and anger. I want to be able to lead my children and show them by example what it means to follow Jesus. Thank you for this timely reminder.

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  • finally getting it…

    Is it too late to jump in after you’ve finished your lessons? I will follow the weeks week by week, even if its too late. I really need this right now, as it seems to fit the direction that my spiritual journey is taking. I’ve been feeling so distant, because some how I was missing my actual calling (Mommyhood) trying to find out what “calling” God had for me & comparing myself to others & my belief of what a perfect woman looks like. (NOT biblical at all, but socially acceptable busy woman). If its not too late, I may encourage others to join in, if they’d like.

    • Joy

      It’s never too late to join in!! All the posts will be here, so just help yourself!!

  • Klovesrc

    As I read this I am nursing my 6 week old son (my 4th child). I have really struggled with keeping my cool with everything that is going on. Thank you for your encouraging words and practical insight. You have truly ministered to me.