Redeeming Childbirth- Wonderful Resource!

Oh Joy! It’s so encouraging to read this from you. I had no idea you had had c-sections (apart from with the twins, which I only knew because a quickly read through the beginning of the ebook I got when I started subscribing). I have had two c-sections thus far and though I COULD have tried a vaginal birth the doctor and I agreed that the potential risks made c-section a better choice. I had a an autoimmune reaction to a cold virus when I was 12 and became paralyzed from waist to toes over the course of a few hours. I recovered pretty well but still have a semiparalyzed right leg, weakened pelvic floor, nerve pain in the urogenital area and a bladder dysfunction that means I have to use a catheter every time I need to empty the bladder. After developing very debilitating digestive issues as an adult I also opted for a colostomy. So with this history c-section it is. Apart from my feeling sick and throwing up all day after my second c-section (and the weakened abs making me still look pregnant ) things have gone great and I have been cleared for another c-section. I have recovered really well. After my second c-section I left the hospital after 3 days and took the local bus home with my hubby and two kids since we didn’t have a car of our own yet then. (That included two short walks and a change of buses.)

I do kind of feel like I miss out on an incredible experience not being able to give birth the natural way but in the bigger picture who cares? I think the hardest part about c-sections is that you know that after each child being born you need to ask the surgeon if you are cleared for another pregnancy and c-section. Most women can have two c-sections, many can have three, and some can have more than that. When we decided on birthing method my doctor asked me specifically how many children I wanted and I told her I was very much aware that with each birth I could be told that this is it – it would be too risky to go through another pregnancy. I am very happy for each child and we sort of take it one at a time. I always wanted at least two, preferably 3 and 4 would be a real bonus. We’ll see what happens. I have two boys now so a little girl would be fun. But the most important thing is of course that the children are healthy and “normal” as after all the stuff I’ve been through I am certainly not naive when it comes to health issues. I have also prayed to God before the births of my children that IF a normal birth would be the best for us that he would make it happen that way. Apart from going into labor a bit early (at 38 weeks the first time, and 36+5 weeks the second time) the process leading up to the c-sections was pretty much ideal – the labor process starting naturally and my getting to feel what it’s like to be in labor (apart from the pushing and all that of course) which also prepares the children and decrease the possible negative aspects of a c-section on the child) and have a very controlled and well prepared c-section.

So I pretty much find the hardest part of having a c-section being waiting for the surgeon to give her opinion on the possibilities of another pregnancy. This can be especially hard when you’re in a Christian environment where larger families are more common than in the outside society. I found it really difficult during the years I was ill and wanted to start a family but had to wait and I was surrounded by people being pregnant all the time! So I think for all the people who can’t have children at all or who had dreamed of a larger family we need to be conscious about not making it feel like a woman’s worth lies in her abilities to have children. I’m sure a lot of women struggle with this. Children are gifts and not to be taken for granted and they should never define your worth or status. We have our worth in the infinite love of Christ. Period.

Again, thanks for sharing Joy! (And on a more worldly note I can’t believe how good you look after 4 c-sections! )

Even though I don’t know you, Joy, I feel instantly connected, as I have had to struggle with having 4 c-sections myself, unplanned, but all for various reasons. It is still hard to talk about, a string of events gone wrong. At times I feel like I’m less of a woman. Then, on the advice of my OB doctor and with consent of my husband, I had my tubes tied after the 4th. A devastating bout of depression followed as it finally sunk in that I had cut off all possibility of having children again, which I wasn’t ready to do. After much prayer, research, and talking with my husband, we did the unthinkable and flew across the country to have a tubal reversal surgery done only 15 months later. It has now been 2 years since the reversal surgery. I deeply regret ever having a tubal and would advise any woman, if you’re just going on some doctor’s advice, PLEASE, PLEASE consider that they are not necessarily speaking in your best interest and enter into it with much prayer.