Number two of the three C’s is Consistent Training, but only after Constant Love!
Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
When talking about training children, often we want a good three-step program. This is not that, and here is why. We mamas needs to be at the feet of our Savior to truly know how to train our children’s hearts.
We need to get our directives from Him, not a formula. Our training should come through searching His Word, relying on the Holy Spirit, bathing our situation in prayer, and resting in His strength and grace.
“Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33
“Abide in Me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.” John 15:5
“Grace based parenting is a heart-acitvated plan that takes it’s cues from a daily walk with Jesus Christ.” Tim Kimmel, Grace Based Parenting
Train your children towards first time obedience
Work towards training your kids to obey “all the way, right away, and with a happy heart.”
”Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother-which is the first commandment with a promise- that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Ephesians 6:1-3
“Correction is about reaching your child’s heart….The heart is fallen and sinful (we want to sin), but God changes hearts by His grace to respond to him, and that is the purpose of biblical discipline-to train the hearts of your child to respond to God and His grace. Paul told Titus that the ‘grace of God that brings us salvation’ also ‘teaches us to say No to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives.’ (Titus 2:11-12)”- Clay Clarkson, Educating the Whole Hearted Child
Consistency, Consistency, Consistency-
Simply let your yes be yes and your no be no (Matthew 5:37). Stick to what you say and follow through. Don’t threaten and don’t give in to whining or fits.
“Children can be trained in almost any direction. Their natural tendencies may be so curbed and guided as no longer to show themselves in disagreeable prominence. It is a parent’s privilege, and it is a parent’s duty, to make his children, by God’s blessing, to be and to do what they should be and do, rather than what they would like to be and do.” H.Clay Trumbull, Hints on Child Training
Reach their heart, not just their behavior
Don’t settle for outward behavior. As much as you are able, seek to draw out the why’s of your child’s disobedience. Connect your heart to theirs, seek to understand them, give them grace, and train them in the way they should go. Love them in the midst of training and discipline!
“Every way we try to make our kids good that isn’t rooted in the good news of the life, death, resurrection is damnable, crushing, despair-breeding, Pharisee-producing law.” – Elyse Fitzpatrick, Give Them Grace
And the Lord said to him, “Now you Pharisees cleanse the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness.” -Luke 11:39
Speak God’s Word into them
Scripture is useful for all things, so get those Bible verses into your child’s head and heart from a young age!
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17
Tell them of Christ’s work on the Cross…tell them over and over and over!
“Our being reconciled to God by the Cross should be the message of our parenting.”- Elyse Fitzpatrick, Give Them Grace
Pray with them and pray over them
Prayer is often an untapped weapon! Show your kids the power of prayer specifically as it pertains to their lives!
Some of my favorite resources on correction and discipline:
- Give Them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick
- Wise Words for Moms by Ginger Plowman (a calendar-like chart with offenses, heart questions to ask and Scripture to help teach and train)
- Making a Peace Place: Godly Anger Management for Children an amazing post by Ann Voskamp, one I use and has revolutionized my parenting!
- The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson
- The Ministry of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson
- Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Ted Tripp
Here is a list of the posts so far in the Cultivating a Heart for Motherhood series:
1. The Beginning
2. The Significance- Part1
3. The Significance- Part2
4. The Obstacles- Part1
5. The Obstacles- Part2
6. The Obstacles- Part3
7. Anger and Patience
8. The 3 C’s of Motherhood
We are almost done! Next is the 3rd C and a printable!
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