The Road to Relevant

October 23, 2011 By

 I made it safe and sound to the US to speak at the Relevant Conference! After 2 and a half days of travel, I am now enjoying the jet lag along with amazing food and coffee.

I left our home city of Tarakan, Indonesia and I will save you the pictures of me crying leaving my family.

As I waited to board the airplane I am struck by several things. First, I am really tall here.  I am 5’6″ but in this group I feel like I am 6′ because I stand head and shoulders above most people in the room.  Second, I am the only white person in a room of a couple hundred.  And third, (which I already knew, but somehow hit me standing there all by myself) Indonesian culture does not value standing in a line. (Now, I love you Indonesia, I really do, but seriously, lines are a good thing. You should give them a try. Lines keep people from getting trampled and keep everyone friendly. Well, at least they keep the white lady friendly).

  Everyone shoves to the door as though the airplane is ready for take off and if we don’t make it out of the door we will miss the flight.  I decide to hang back and wait, and guess what?! I was able to board with plenty of time to spare!

Oh and I learned something else.  Self portraits are a baaaaaddddd idea.  Yikes!

I found my seat next to a dear lady who needed help figuring out how to buckle her seat belt. She has never flown before and is going to see her new grandbaby.  She holds my hand through the entire flight.  The overhead announcements begin in Indonesian.  Then they play a recording of a British woman saying the same thing, and I laugh out loud because clearly I am the only one who speaks English on this plane and it strikes me as funny.  I look back at the Buddhist monks behind me, but they do not seem amused.

Oh well, I happily listen to the Lionel Richie song playing overhead as we taxi out.

After a stop and a layover in another Indonesian city, I arrive in the country of Singapore.  I am immediately hit by extreme culture shock.

 You might think that since Singapore is still in Asia it must be the same.  Not so. Coming from a place of poverty to a place of extreme wealth hits me square between the eyes.  Tears fill my eyes for two reasons.  One, because I am overcome by all of the choices….should I eat Burger King, McDonalds, Subway, or Starbucks (or maybe all at the same time)?

And the other thing, how can I be so excited over plenty when so many I know have so little? I live in two worlds, the one that likes nice things like a Pumpkin Spice Latte and the one where my neighbor doesn’t have enough to eat 3 meals a day.

 I am hit by the opportunities I am given as an American that most will never even dream about.  And, I am disgusted at myself at how quickly I get over it.  The 24-hour Starbucks siren calls to me and I answer her.  How quickly these things lure me in….

It’s weird being a part of two lives, two cultures, and never fully fitting in with either one.

And, lest you are depressed by the inner workings of my culture-confused mind, let me leave you with this, The Fish Spa. Yes, it’s a spa and it has fish.  You put your feet in a pool of fish and they come and eat the dead skin off of your feet!  If I can work up the nerve when I head back to Singapore, I am going to have the fish suck my toes AND I will document it for all to see!

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58 Comments

  • Junglewife

    Thanks for sharing pics of your journey! I am glad that you got to enjoy Singapore – don’t feel guilty about it! I’ve seen the fish-foot-massage places in Bali, too, but never had the nerve to try them, either. I’d love to hear your experience if you do!

    I have to admit, I am more than a little bit jealous that you get to go back to the States! I hope you enjoy your time there and that you will both be blessed and be a blessing to others.

    • Joy

      Thanks Sarah. I know you understand about the weird feelings as you try to navigate between two worlds. :) I really want to try to fish spa thing, not because I think it will feel good, but just to say I did! :)
      I’m sorry I make you jealous. :( If it makes you feel any better, it’s a jam packed time with very little for resting and relaxing. :)

  • Thehomespunheart

    So glad you are safely in the US! And, I’m thankful for the little things you are getting to enjoy. It does make me sad that we as Americans have SO much and are so used to that when there is such need elsewhere. Thank you for the reminder, sweet friend!

    • Joy

      Thank you Monica! It makes me sad too, and it overwhelms me, but yet, I still drink the Starbucks. That’s the dilemma. :) Thanks for always being such an encourager. You bless me over and over again.

  • http://lettersnumbersandbooksohmy.blogspot.com/ Welcometoourwonderland

    wonderful post and so true. glad you made it safe and sound. my daughters watched a show called victorious and they did a segment about the fish that eat the dead skin in the show they got sick that was the first thing I thought of when I say that spa picture. let me know how it goes if you decided to do it.

    have a blast!!!

    • Joy

      Wow! Other people have heard of the fish spa thing! I think I am going to do it, just to say I did and for the shock factor. My kids told me I should do it, so ya know, if your kids think you should you just gotta…. :)

  • Elaine Pack

    In so enjoyed this post and pictures!!!! Thanks for sharing your trip with us! I wish I lived in PA and could hear you speak! Have a wonderful time!

    • Joy

      Thank you Elaine! I appreciate you and your encouragement so very much!!

  • http://joyfulmothering.net Christin

    Oh wow, Joy. I’m at a loss for words. I’ve never been out of the country (except Canada, which is 30 minutes from here so it doesn’t really count), but sometimes even I feel guilty and somewhat ashamed for being so spoiled. I sponsor a child in Tanzania and I have seen pictures of the conditions over there. Sometimes I’m afraid to write about anything but the weather because I don’t want to talk about anything that has to do with having something my child doesn’t.
    God is guiding me.

    And the Fish Spa? Eww! I couldn’t do it!!!! Bleck, bleck, bleck!!! LOL

    • Joy

      Thanks Christin. It is a difficult place to be, knowing that so many have so little and we have been blessed with so much. That is just precious that you sponsor a child in Tanzania!
      I know, the fish spa things is totally disgusting, but my kids said I should try, and I don’t want to let them down….plus I think it would be a hilarious post! :)

  • http://kimchirunner.blogspot.com/ Alissa

    If you are ticklish, the fish spa is not going to be so great. The fish tickle your feet as they eat the skin. Hope you enjoy your time in the States!

    • Joy

      My feet ARE very ticklish, so maybe it would be too much for me. Have you tried it???

  • http://twitter.com/Angietolpin Angie Tolpin

    The best part of you coming to the states… is that I just got to have great Thai food with you for HOURS!!!! Oh HOW I MISS YOU when you are gone! Can’t wait to connect more at Relevant Dear Friend! Have fun getting dead skin sucked off your feet :) Yikes!

    • Joy

      Thanks Ang, it was so great to have a whole evening together! I will treasure the memory! I think I have to do the fish spa, just because my mommy cool factor will go way up with the kids. :)

  • http://www.mercyfoundme.com/ Jacque Watkins

    So loved your words in this…your heart for Him and those who are in need…and I can’t wait to get to meet you!

    • Joy

      Yay! Only a few more days, Jacque!!

  • http://carriethinkstoomuch.blogspot.com/ Carrie

    “It’s weird being a part of two lives, two cultures, and never fully fitting in with either one.”

    I understand this. Oh, how I understand this!

    • Joy

      I’m glad you do, so that I’m not the only one! :)

  • http://www.preparingthesoil.com Janet

    I think you should go for the fish spa. We did it in Penang and loved it. At the place we went, we actually got to move around 3 tanks. They set us up first in one with really tiny fish, then moved us to the medium fish, and then finished with the big fish. It doesn’t hurt…more just a subtle vibration. They have them here in Bandung now, too.

    • Joy

      Really Janet?? It just sounds so gross! I can’t believe they have them in Bandung, that is crazy! I think I am going to have to try it just to say that I did. And, maybe, I’ll enjoy it like you!:)

  • Brandy

    Oh, Joy! I love this post and so love the kindred thoughts and struggles with loving 2 completely different cultures and being pulled by both. We have the fish in India, but I just don’t think I could handle them–especially because my feet are so ticklish. My girlie wants me to do it too…maybe she and I can do it together one day?! Can’t wait to hear more!!! Praying for you at relevant!

    • Joy

      Thanks Brandy. I am so glad to hear that I am not alone in this crazy confused thinking! :) I think I’m going to try the fish thing, just so I am a cool mom and I think it would be fun to say I did it. :)

  • http://www.peak313.com Clare

    Love this! You are so cute!! Can’t wait to see you!

    • Joy

      Thank you Clare! Can’t wait to see you!!!

  • http://twitter.com/stacey29lincoln Stacey29lincoln

    I love that you held her hand the whole flight.

    Praying for you!

    • Joy

      Thank you sweet Stacey. I can’t believe that I get to meet you in just a few day!! EEK!

  • MistyK

    Joy, this post is a hoot! My kids have experienced a pinch of what you’re talking about–the incredible dichotomy between the rest of most of the world and America–and I know it’s a challenge. So glad I’ll be meeting you in just a few days! And you’re brave if you do the fish thing. That kindof wigs me out. <3

    • Joy

      Thanks Misty! :) I’m sure your kids have experienced so much of the same emotions. I know when I went on missions trips in high school it took me several days to re-enter the US. The fish thing wigs me out too, but I think now I have to do it!

  • Emily

    Hi Joy,
    I know what you mean about feeling the culture shock when arriving in Singapore. We spent some time along Thai/Burma border area and then stopped in Singapore for a few days before heading home. It took a while to adjust to the wealth and the orderliness of everything!
    If you do try the fish spa, I’d love to hear how it feels and it it works. Have a great time back in the States.

  • Diane Meyer

    Joy, this is such fun reading about your trip. I don’t even have words about the culture shock you experienced. Wow. Wondering how to address this situation (we have so much,, others have so little) in our own life. Can we ever give enough ?

  • Hoganbunch

    You should totally do the fish spa! We lived in Okinawa Japan for 7 years and I loved it. It makes your feet feel as soft as a babies bottom!

  • Hoganbunch

    You should totally do the fish spa! We lived in Okinawa Japan for 7 years and I loved it. It makes your feet feel as soft as a babies bottom!

  • Kberryh

    I really really enjoyed your pics! Love how you talked about being part of two worlds and how we americans have it good. So true. I got all teary eyed…….YOUR a Blessing!

  • Anna

    I’m glad you made it safely. I can relate to the living in 2 cultures/2worlds, and I don’t know how to fully process it yet. (I’m in the Republic of Congo.) It does make me much more grateful for things that I used to take for granted.
    I can relate to the flights. It can be crazy here. People get nervous that they will be left, and there’s lots of shoving, pushing, yelling. I still have bruises on my legs from flying a week ago! No one’s been left behind, yet.
    I hope your time in the US goes well.

  • Sharon O

    So excited for you to go to Relevant. Wish I was there sitting with you enjoying the view. Take lots of pictures and keep sharing it is wonderful. blessings to you.

  • http://www.heartchoices.com Debbie

    Thank you for sharing your journey to Relevant with us! Culture shock for sure. I felt that way after returning from a mission trip to Haiti years ago. I will pray that the Lord will give you just the right words to speak to these women. Many of my favorite bloggers will be there.

  • Anonymous

    Beautiful post :-) just like the person who wrote it :-)

  • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

    You crack me up. I love your mind! Also, CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU!!!!! Tuesday! :)

  • Dave

    Hmmm, haven’t seen a single comment on here by a guy, but I have to say, Dave’s blog doesn’t haven’t anything over on yours for photography. Excellent pictures and interesting narrative. I do my best to pray for your family each day.

  • Lisa Littlewood

    Wow! You are super mom and super speaker!! Thanks for doing all of that to come to the east coast to speak to all of us women!!! I’ll actually be at the conference in part to learn, but in part to cover it for a publication here in the Buffalo, N.Y. area…would love to chat with you!! Not sure how that will all work…but hopefully we’ll cross paths!

  • http://www.deniseinbloom.com Denise In Bloom

    I love you, and love this post. Your candid honesty is refreshing.
    We are soon going to drink up the living water and hugs and all kinds of goodness, and I am so glad that God made a way for you to come to Relevant. See ya soon!

  • http://twitter.com/parresia Julie Wilson

    LOVED this post… especially the self-portraits! or maybe the starbucks pictures best! :) Thank you for taking us on your journey! I don’t think I could ever do a fish spa, but I am looking forward to your post on that experience! :) I also wish I had the nerve to go to Relevant, but I don’t… and I only live 2 hours away!! looking forward to experiencing it with you and all the other great bloggers there!!

  • http://joyfulheartsandfaces6.blogspot.com/ Charlotte

    I am so glad you are documenting your journey! I had the amazing opportunity to live in Manokwari, Papua, Indonesia for 6 months with my missionary relatives when I graduated from high school. Seeing how people lived in a third world country impacted me forever, and changed how I look at my material blessings. Have a lovely time in the states and I vote for trying the Fish Spa on the way back! :-)

  • Anonymous

    Our church as a body has been reading through The Hole In Our Gospel. We have been learning/discussing many aspects of the disparity between those of us who have and those who don’t. The video last week showed two neighborhoods 7 minutes apart: one wracked with violence and poverty while the other had mansions…this was in New Jersey. My town is not so different. I am praying that God would change me, and also help me reconcile that disconnect between a woman with cinnamon chai latte mix in her fridge with those who don’t have clean water. I am finding more and more that the two worlds are this: the one we have through Jesus, and the one we have right now. Thank you for sharing your journey! Relevant was such a blessing to me last year, I know you will be a blessing to those attending this year.

  • Erin Messing

    We recently moved overseas and the culture shock has been crazy. I loved this post and your take on reintegrating to US culture.
    Oh, and I am so glad you are blogging again. I read your old one and your words are so motivating to me on my journey as a wife and mama. Enjoy your trip!

  • http://twitter.com/mrshaggie810 Kelley Hagemeister

    Can’t wait to see if you stop at the fish spa, and SO excited to hear you speak! Even though I am not living in a foreign country…I can relate to the struggle between enjoying and desiring luxury things, and wanting to be content with all that I do have when I know how truly rich I am compared to others…and definitely not fully fitting into either world.

  • http://impressyourkids.com ohamanda {impress your kids}

    What an adventure! And here I was getting excited about my flight from Atlanta to PA! ;)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=619715615 Jennifer Hill

    Self portrait… you still look adorable. The height comment made me wonder how uncomfortable my 5’9″ stature would make me in that setting.
    I hope you are enjoying your time.

  • Anonymous

    Loved this! Can’t wait to meet you!!

  • Janelle

    I LOVE this Joy…you held her sweet hand…love that. NOT my idea of a pedicure! hahaha!!! This is the most interesting post ever….again, my mouth is open and I am in awe, lol! I may be your biggest fan, hehehe. It just amazes me…the God in YOU amazes me! Can’t wait for this week! It’s going to be FUN!

  • Ann Franklin

    The first time I saw a real chandelier was at a home group meeting in Indonesia we attended when on a missions trip. Not what I was expecting! Then onto another home group where an opener sewer ran past the front door of a house with no windows. Both home groups were run by the same church – the message of the gospel was reaching out to both rich and poor and they worshiped side by side. It is one of my favourite memories of Jakarta.
    I once had to spend 14 hours on a stopover at the airport in Singapore with my 15 month year son. I thought I would get lost there but soon knew my way around and was even on first name terms with some of the shopkeepers! There was no fish spa then – that would have been an interesting way to kill some time! I lost count of how many times we went on that super fast train between the terminals.
    May God bless you sweet Joy as you minister to the women you speak to at Relevant. Have a wonderful time and if there is ever a Relevant Australia conference you will have to come – it is a shorter trip!

  • http://www.inspiredtoaction.com Kat

    It sounds like my trip to the Philippines…in reverse order.

    Glad you made it here safely!

  • Joelmissydavis

    Joy, I TOTALLY get that living between two worlds thing! you said it well. it IS confusing and weird and hard to wrap your mind around!! we have a “big city” we go to for shopping pretty often and it’s true, it’s easy to get used to the “luxuries” pretty quickly. And yet we live by such poverty. the needs are overwhelming! I have to trust that God will allow us to meet just the ones He wants us to. AND I stick out just as much at our little airport… blond hair in a sea of black hair and a head taller! pretty much everything you said sounded familiar! Hope you have a great trip, will be praying for your speaking! (ps- I could NOT stand that fish thing! when we lived in TN and went swimming in the lake, and the little fish would nibble at me, I screamed every time- ha! it gives me shivers to think about it!!)

  • Rakel Thurman

    Oh Joy….the joy and the bewilderment of living in two worlds….will we ever get used to this crosscultured life? Love hearing someone’s first impressions as they are “hit by the West”….when I first came to America I wrote every week for a small Swedish radio station….”From my American Window”…quite fun to go back and read.

  • http://profiles.google.com/cwomagazine Darlene Schacht

    Who looks that gorgeous at an airport?! Can’t wait to see you!!

  • Anonymous

    Hey, just found your site. I flew into and out of the bush of PNG via Singapore and I understand the complete culture shock of just getting onto and off of the plane. It is a mix of emotions. Love your site. I will be back. Thanks!

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